O ″Güzel Günler″

 

Yüz binlerce insan hep birlikte, hançeresini yırta yırta, boyun damarlarını şişire şişire Livaneli şarkıları söylese. ‘Bana bir şarkı söyle’ diye başlayan, ‘İçinde hüzün olsun’ diye süren. ‘Başına kuşlar konsun, sonunda gurbet olsun’ diye devam eden… Nefesler nefeslere karışsa, dört bir yan çiçek açsa… Yıllar yıllar önce Ankara’da, yürekleri umut, yürekleri sevgi, yürekleri paylaşım dolu en az bir milyon insanın katıldığı o efsane konserde olduğu gibi… Hani, günler önce çadırlarını kurmuşlardı Zülfü’nün damıttığı sözlere eşlik etmek için. Hepsi de genç ve güzeldi; ışıl ışıl yüzlerinde umut dolu gözleri gökkuşağı gibi alımlıydı ve gelecek güzel günlere inanıyorlardı.


İşte yine öyle olsa, umut meşaleleri yaksak, apaydınlık olsa geceler. Hayal değildi ki, olmuştu; yaşanmıştı, yaşamıştık… Sonra… Sonra yine haykırsak… Gecenin lacivertini delik deşik eden milyarlarca yıldıza… ‘Yüce dağlar başında mı, zemherinin kışında mı, şu gönlümün bir umudu gülüm, gözlerimin yaşında mı?’ diye sorsak. İncecik parmaklar gözyaşlarımızı silse. Küçük küçük öpsek o parmakları sevgiyle, saygıyla… ‘Kırılsa da kanadımız, âsiye çıksa adımız, duyan duysun, bilen bilsin, böyledir bizim sevdamız’ diye kostaklansak Öyle yüksek perdeden, öyle arzulu, öyle korkusuz.

 

Bir Turunç akşamüstü. Beş arkadaş: Timur, Volkan, Songül, Seçil ve Can. Eylül, temmuz ve ağustosun cehennem sıcaklarından sonra cennete çevirir buraları. Yumuşacıktır hava; kucaklar, sağaltır insanı. Çakıllar, dağların ardına devrilmiş güneşten kalan loş aydınlık, iki şişe soğutulamamış beyaz şarap ve kaba etlerimizi acıtan tahta şezlonglar. Bu güzel köyde ne elektrik ne de elektriğe gereksinim var. Varsın şarap ılınmış olsun. Kim takar tahta şezlongları. Biz dünyaya, ‘güzel günler göreceğiz çocuklar’ diyen o muhteşem adamın, o muhteşem şairin penceresinden bakıyorduk.

Seçil, Can’ın kız arkadaşıydı gelecek sezon okullar bitmiş, diplomalar alınmış ve bu iki şirin insan evlenmiş olacaklardı. Seçil konservatuvarda dans okuyordu. Omzumda asılı gitarımı usulca çakılların üzerine bıraktım. Ben de konservatuvardandım. Songül ve Volkan evliydi, birkaç ay sonra doğacak Barış’ı heyecanla bekliyorduk. Ne güzel, Barış gelecekti! Dördünün de derdi Timur’a, yani bana bir eş bulmaktı. Benimse hiç öyle bir derdim yoktu. Volkan amatör keyifle çok güzel flüt çalardı. Songül ise Mimar Sinan’da asistandı. Dört yıldır her eylülde, üç yüz kadar insanın yaşadığı, denizi, çamları, çam balları, portakalları, mandalinaları, narları, kekikleri, naneleri reyhanları ve muhteşem doğasından başka bir şeyi olmayan bu köye geliyorduk. (Bu yıl aramızda Kayhan yoktu.) Köyün daha neyi olsundu ki?! Yetmişli yılların yolları ve otobüsleri hiç mi hiç yıldırmıyordu bizi. Yaklaşık yirmi saat sonunda ulaşırlardı Marmaris’e. Üstümüz başımız kesif sigara kokusu ve ayak bileklerimiz davul gibi şiş, inerdik otobüsten kahkahalarla. Burnunda “Ayyıldız” yazan bir taka vardı rıhtımda. O takaya adım atıp İsmet Kaptan’la kucaklaştığımızda biterdi tüm yorgunluğumuz. Kaptan lacivert sularda Turunç’a üç paraya götürürdü bizi.

 

Tahta şezlongların orasından, burasından çıkmış çivileri, iri çakıl taşlarıyla çaktık geriye. Havlularımızı serdik üzerlerine. Beş şezlongun ortasına bir tanesini de masa diye koyduk. Domates, hıyar ve dağdan fışkırıp köye indirilmiş ab-ı hayat sular. Şarap şişeleri, beş cam su bardağı, köyün turfanda portakal ve mandalinaları, beyaz peynir, fırıncı çılgın Ali’nin akılları oynatan ekmeği… Bir kutu da pişmaniye! (Gelirken, İzmit molasında almıştık pişmaniyeyi.) Bu kadardı işte soframız. Ha, bir de piknik tüplü lüks lambası. Köyün en teknolojik aleti!

 

Sağ taraftaki burundan, dolunay görünmeye başlamıştı. Biz de başladık ufaktan. İlk bardaklarda suskun mutlu, laciverti giderek koyulaşan denizi, yükselen bakır siniyi andıran ayı izledik. Sahici sessizlik, sahici deniz kokusu, sahici yıldızlar, sahici dolunaydı. Volkan ikinci bardakları doldurduğunda, uzanıp gitarımı kucağıma çektim. Bir iki tıngırdatıp ayar yaptım. Notalar çakıllarda, havada, denizde uçuşmaya başlamıştı. Şimdi hepsi sustu, sadece Rodrigo’nun Gitar Konçertosu ve gece böceklerinin sesleri vardı. Sakin sakin, yavaş yavaş, okşar gibi dokunuyordum tellere. Volkan geriye yaslanıp çantasını çekti yanına, flütünü çıkardı. İnce uzun parmakları flütün deliklerinde bir süre izledi beni… Sonra gitar ve flüt yakaladı birbirini. Songül boşalan bardakları tazeledi, Seçil dolu bardağını yanağına yasladı, gözleri kapalıydı. Şimdi her şey konçertoydu, gitardı, flüttü, gece böcekleriydi… Coşup yükseldiğimde, Volkan’ın flütü de aynı yüksekliğe çıkıyordu. Seçil şarabından iri bir yudum aldı, bardağı şezlonga bırakıp kalktı, çıplak ayaklarının üzerinde zarif hareketlerle, yere kadar uzun, bol eteğini dalgalandırarak, çakılların bitip incecik kumlarla denizin buluştuğu yere yürüdü. Durdu, vücudunu dikleştirdi. İnce ve kıvrak iki bilek hareketiyle, zarif kollarını dolunaya uzatıp ince uzun parmaklı ellerini başının üzerinde birleştirdi. Elleri en yukarıda küçük, ürkek kuşlar gibi çırpınıyordu. Ayak parmaklarının üzerinde yükseldi, kendi etrafında, tek ayağının üzerinde dönmeye başladı, diğer ayağıyla dönmeyi destekliyordu. Bir daha, bir daha, bir daha… Yavaşladı. Bacaklarını alabildiğine açarak kumsala paralel hale geldi. Şimdi bacakları, eteği tamamen kumsala yayılmış durumdaydı. Yavaş ve zarif hareketlerle, kumda topuklarıyla derin izler bırakarak tekrar dikleşti… Ellerinin, bileklerinin çırpınışı durmuyordu. Kumsal danstı, yaşamdı, barıştı, müzikti, ay ışığı ve elbette sevgiydi!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

Genç kadın ince dalgaların üstünde uzun adımlarla koşuyor, aniden dönüyor, bacaklarını tekrar suya paralel duruma getiriyor, zarif hareketlerle yavaş yavaş ayağa kalkıyordu. Hızla tekrar ayak parmaklarını üstünde dönüyor, dönüyor, dönüyordu… Yavaşladı ve bize dönerek zarif bir reverans yapıp durdu… Can derin bir hayranlıkla bakıyordu sevgilisine. Gitarım da, Volkan’ın flütü de sustu. Minik dalgaların minik sesleri… Ovanın derinliklerinden de gece kuşlarının incecik ötüşleri… Songül, elleri kocaman karnında, mutlu ve suskun gülümsüyordu. Hep birlikte az önce Seçil’in dans ettiği kıyıya indik. Islanmayı umursamadan suların içine oturduk. Kollarımızı birbirimizin omzuna attık… Bardaklar ellerimizdeydi. Gök lacivertti, dolunay yıldızları yutmuştu sanki. Dalgalar kumsala küçük küçük dokunmaya devam ediyordu… O gün, hiçbirimiz dile getirmese de çok yakın arkadaşımız Kayhan’ın doğum günüydü. Hepimiz şaraplarımızı kafamıza dikip bitirdik. Ayağa kalkıp bardaklarımızı denize fırlatırken “Heeeeeyyy Kayhan, bak yine hep birlikteyiz diye bağırdık ufka doğru. Atıldığı hücrede iç kanamadan ölen ve biz yaşadıkça zamanın ve mekânın sonsuzluğunda yaşayacak Kayhan’ın doğum gününü kutladık. Hepimiz “güzel günler göreceğiz çocuklar” diyen şaire inanıyorduk çünkü.

Evet, belki bugüne kadar o güzel günler gelmemiş olabilir…  Ama biz o günlere inanan ve inanmayı inatla sürdüren beş arkadaşız hâlâ. Tabii yıllar içinde ‘hayat gailesi’ dediğimiz saçma bir karmaşanın içinde oradan oraya savrulmaktan birbirimizi daha az görüyor, daha çok efkârlanıyor ve gün be gün yaşlanıyoruz. Olsun… Şairimize ve o güzel günlere inanıyor, inancımıza sıkı sıkı tutunuyoruz. Bazen, belki bu yüzden hâlâ nefes alıp verebiliyoruz diyorum kendi kendime.  

Diğer yazılar...

Yorumlar